i don't want to give up...

but sometimes I can't help but feel as though my attempts are feeble and the outcome will never be as I'd hoped...

Every day is a new challenge, and some days are particularly difficult to comprehend... Frustration seems to be the feeling that I find most overwhelming... There are days that seem to go by in mere moments and then others that drag on for what seems like an eternity...

I suppose that at some point I need to suck it up and shut my mouth, since I know that I really am doing the best that I can... yet, here I am on a Saturday night, after midnight, writing... to get this out of my head so that I might have a chance at a reasonable night's sleep... it's been months since I slept soundly for more than a few hours... but maybe tonight will be different... I can only hope...

I imagine that those looking from the outside believe that I'm a very lucky girl... i suppose that I know that I am in many ways... But, I don't think that anyone has any idea of the daily grind to which I've become accustomed... and I don't think that there are many that would care if they did...

Patience has become one of my only allies... Thinking back over my life, it seems that I didn't have much in the way of patience before my son was born... I suppose now is as good a time as any to learn a new skill...